The bio below was written when I was sixteen. Now I'm eighteen but I never changed it because I always thought in ten years I could look back at it and all my spelling mistakes and have fun memmories. I joined livejournal because of Brokeback and stayed for all the beautiful slash. Now I'm just sad. This is my way of coping. I guess I've grown up and this is just symbolic of how not all things could stay the same. But I will always remember the 16 yearold girl who watched BBM for the first time in amazement, with innocent eyes. That girl no longer exist.
May Heath rest in peace. He's my James Dean and I will always remember him.
"I first heard about BBM when Heath Baby went on Conan. Conan" SO I hear you are going to be playing a gay cowboy." That got my ADD brain's attention. By how he said it sounded like a comedy. Never read the book before. I was the kind of girl that could read tons of slash but could never go onto Border, go to Gay and Lesbian section and get the real thing. I was shy Catholic school girl. Then after reading alot of LOTR RPS I kept wondering who was this trannie that Orli's mother name him after. True or not true still interesting. So i looked it up and read Orlando A biogrphy on the interent. The entire book in two days. Then I went to a link " after a days rest ofcourse" that said it was made into a movie. I wanted to know what hot guy they got to play orli. TO my disapointment it was all played by a women. Sigh. But their were links to other moives like that. Defintion og Like that: other movied that are not afraid to be gay or lesbian. One of the Movied was "My own privat Idaho" Summary: Mike and Scottie are two male prostitutes, played by Reeves and Pheonix. That is all I needed to hear. I printed up the script and loved the movibefore i even watched it. Side note: The script that I read said that Scottie is the one that come back for Mike at the ending. That is why I was happy. Poor poor stupid me. After that it said that the same director was making a movie called Brokeback Mountain Staring Hearth and Jake. I went to the site and read summary. It sounded ok. Then I read a part of the script that came straight....haha um from the book. The sex scene. It gave me a femal woodie. I just thought of Heath on top of Jake roughly pumping his rigid huge 'like his hands' cock into cherry Jake. OMG. I thought are they actualy going to put this on screen. I thought of all the fanfiction that would cum oops come out of this. AU, rps, mpreg, series after series. I had to read the book. SO I searched some more until I read it on the internet. I cried and fucking cried and then I creid some more. The I looked up more and more and some more info on it. Then I started reading alot of reports that they took the sex scenes and even kissing scenes out. How fucking dare they. SO I decied to give it a rest for awhile. That weakend I went to Best Buy and secretly bought My own privat Idaho. It didn't stay private. One I got into the car with my dad he glimped at the title and said " Oh that's that movie where they play fags. It came out the same year your brother was born." My father realy knows the meaning of irony. What good catholics we are. I watched and cried and cried and cried. Not one fucking kissing scene not one. After that I stopped looking up movies and stayed with slash. It wasn't until after summer that i got back into it. After I found out they were staying true to the book. Now I can't wait for it to hit Chicago. Oh, but it is such a long wait. And we do come from a age group and culture that beleives in instant gratification. Atleast that ius what my nun Sister Elizebeth-Ann told me. I wonder what they will say in my school when bbm comes out.OOO i can't wait to hear about the sins of Soddum. Also I lost my gay book cherry. this summer I was in a kaddie program that is part of my scolarship. We stayed at a college dorm and every week we went to the book store. I saw the Gay and Lesbian section adn knew those are probly the only books that will interest me. I went up and bought City of Night By John Rechy. I am a fag hag and proud of it."
-I rememberance of my first enthusiastic love for slash and Heath.